Lists, Worthiness, etc.
So I’ve drawn up a list of all the things I want to recieve over the holidays. It’s not terribly long, but in some parts it’s a tad wide. I wouldn’t feel right in publishing this list, as some of you moneybags out there might go all crazy on me–and besides, it’s tackier than birken-socks when folks use a blog to pander for tchotchkes. I can say that a good random holiday shagging is in there somewhere.
In accordance with my belief in conservationist relativity (this is a meaningless phrase used to dispel your incredulity), I’ve also made a list of the things I’ve done this year that were less than polite, uh, less than forthcoming or honorable, and umm, I dunno, downright shitty.
I then used my own brand of fuzzy math to determine–for these particular purposes only mind you–my net worth as a person.
My calculations have me coming in a bit light; what can I say, I was a bit of a shit vis-a-vis obligations, promises made/kept, etc. and now I’m confused as to which of two possible gifts I should push for:
- A big bag of jerky.
- Carhartt socks (best socks ever).
So help me out here… Do I go for comfy warm feet whenever needed, or 2 days of glorious gastric distress?
6 Missives So Far
01 tfg said on Sun Dec 4 10:05:01 EST
I'd definitely opt for the Carhartt socks. As you mentioned, Carhartt makes great stuff. Besides, "2 days of glorious gastric distress" might impede any holiday shagging that may be pending.
02 josh said on Mon Dec 5 1:00:04 EST
You have a point, man.
The best of both worlds would be to find a chick who doesn't mind chewin' the buffalo.
So to speak.
03 Mad said on Mon Dec 5 3:46:23 EST
You can't go socks man, you have to go gastric distress. You owe it to posterity.
05 josh said on Fri Dec 9 1:14:40 EST
Nope, not yet. A guy at my old job used the company letterhead to con his way into a Kodak developer program, so they sent us a test rig and we played around with one of the 2X3" test appliances for a few weeks.
I think--comercially speaking-- full-on monitors are probably +/- a year out-apparently they're still having difficulty with the higher wavelength pigments dying off much quicker than say the reds-but man, I can't wait.
I know Sony put them in their latest Walkman, but they are monochromatic. Still damned cool, though.
06 Gone Away said on Mon Dec 12 11:00:48 EST
Reading you always make me realize just how far I have to go yet before I'll understand even half of American culture. What the fuck are Carhartt socks? Not that it matters, of course - the answer has to be jerky but I would suggest a little more adventurousness. Why not really splash out and buy yourself a large chunk of biltong (look for a South African site selling food for homesick jaapies)? This is similar to jerky but is the real thing as opposed to the mamby-pamby, over-spiced, oh-no-is-it-meat variety foisted off on an unsuspecting American public. It's a southern African thing and made by cutting huge strips of meat off a dead animal, throwing large quantities of salt at them and hanging them out to dry in the sun until as hard as boot leather. The sun part is important as there's nothing quite like fly shit for adding that special flavor. The result is biltong, something that smells so good your dogs will savage you for it, tastes like heaven and is more addictive than peanuts. And, best of all, it requires the teeth of a real man to tear bits off and to chew. :D
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