Entry 142 - GooD BuSiness

GooD BuSiness

I recieved an interesting piece of spam today:

hey
i am one of biggest boss in egyptian mafia . i am hacker from egypt , i hacking banks and get information of people . i can make millions of dollar but need good client and asistant in USA & UK & Canda . we will make many money together by transfer money into his bank account and we will split money 50/50 but if you don’t accept this so forget about and delete this e-mail if u accept just send me ur info to contact u THaNKS

Now here’s the thing: I know that the “Egyptian mafia” is real. I’m pretty sure, in retrospect, that I went to high school with more than one mob kid. This is not as cool as it may sound, though… You see, I also happen to know that these guys are dumbasses par excellence. In fact, I remember vividly seeing two members of said ‘organization’ slap- fighting outside of a dance club in Cairo, spitting at each other and calling each other whores. The clear victor in the altercation eventually triumphed by giving up the civility of the open-handed joust for the deadly scimitar that was his huarache sandal. This of course forced his erstwhile foe to withdraw, and the crowd seemed stunned by such a shocking affront. Bottoms of feet are a big deal in the Arab world; go figure.

I also remember a story in the Gazette about three such mafiosi accidentally blowing themselves to bits while robbing a bank in Alexandria.

One could easily dismiss this spam as the work of some 13-year-old kid with an overactive imagination and a proclivity for criminal behavior, but then again–knowing what I know about the Kebab Kartel–it could very well be sincere. Should I go for it?